Monday, July 28, 2014


     If we are brutally honest with ourselves we have to admit how very little much of what we know is as a result of our own efforts. The fact is, we are taught a great deal. So-called scientific or technological "breakthroughs" are usually less radical than supposed because of the important contributions of others leading up to the breakthrough. In whatever work we have, it is our good fortune to "ride on the shoulders of giants."
     Who we are – our own character – is usually due more to the strong influence of one or more people than to our own success at realizing and developing the qualities of character on our own that we need in advance. Usually, just at the moment when our desperate lack of deep capacity becomes most obvious to us, a person appears in our lives and the trajectory of our destiny, for good or ill, is changed forever. We model after them.
     These "giants" make us strong. Or, they helped us realize our own power. They give us an opportunity. Or, they create a tragedy that forced us to focus, choose or decide. They lead us, love us, follow us or touch our heart. Or they try to manipulate, control or bully us in which ever fashion, positive or negative – they put our life question into our hands.
     Who were these people? Create a moment of reverence. Write down their names. Menally and emotionally re-experience who they were. How they look. What they said. What words there personal gestures?
     Were are they there to bring the positive into your life, or the negative? Did they bear an answer to a deep question or longing which you had? Or did they bring a confrontation or a threat – a challenge? Did they SAVE you from falling into the abyss or push you over the edge? Did they bring you something you NEEDED to hear? Or, something you needed to face and resist?
     Why were they there?
     Maybe it was that mentor who patiently offered you their way to the craft, the RIGHT way to do something lasting. And the lesson was one of dealing with THEM and their arrogance or timidity as much is it was about the skills they taught.
     Or, maybe it was that friend or relative who ran the scams and offered you their method to cut corners, runs the game, make the sale, "bait and switch" or make a fast buck – and move on.
     Perhaps it was a lover who was able to lift you up, get behind your defensive "shields" and intimately and sexually see you as you are for that one genuine moment – but in that moment you were changed and able to give and receive.
     Or, could it have been a situation which ended badly? The loss of something? A hard place. An  un-just incident. A defenseless moment of vulnerability? What was that lesson?
     Maybe it was the schoolyard bully projected into the world's worst boss? Or, the flip side, the boss the trusted you and gave you the opportunity to prove yourself. They were there, but why? Why this person? Why you?
     By gratefully acknowledging their gifts we create a new relationship with them. The people that you allowed to change you and touch you had great power over you. If these people were of significant capacities – "giants" as we called them – they were people of power, enough power to magnetically draw you to them. Certainly far more power than you had at that moment.
     What did THEY want from you? Your admiration? Your obedience? Your strength? Your unique gifts? To abuse you? How did you not fall under their "spell"? Or did you?
     Through your strengths and weaknesses, your acceptance and resistance, there may have been power, conflict or intimacy which may have been discharged, like lightning, in an explosive moment.
     What happened? Did they get what they wanted? Did you? Where they changed or were you change? Were you able to find the courage you needed? Find the love? The joy? The enthusiasm? The ability to resist? The clarity of perception to judge and act in the situation?
     What was formed in you?
     What special strengths do you carry in your heart today as a result of this interaction that you are still giving to the world? Are you, perhaps, now the "giant"?
(c) Copyright 2014, Jean W. Yeager
All Rights Reserved