Monday, January 11, 2016

DONALL TRUMPETTE, “MINI-ME” AND “TRUMP-O RICO”

WHO AM I?
I am Donall Trumpette, “DonaldLarge Me’s Mini-Me”. Do not misunderstand. I may be smaller than DonaldLarge Me in height, but I have a much, much larger frontal cortex than DonaldLarge Me. Mini Me is so smart that I do all the thinking and DonaldLarge Me who does all the flapping of his large lips. I pack the brains, he packs a big mouth and large, signature-style hair. (It is not a comb-over, it is a Trump-over.)
I play a very LARGE role in DonaldLarge Me and DonaldLarge Me is, of course, playing an extraordinarily super-sized role in the advancement of all mankind!  I carry a 3”X5” card in my wallet on which I make careful, tiny notations, of DonaldLarge Me’s contribution to the species. This is not about “survival” of the fittest, we’re way beyond that. DonaldLarge Me is much larger than Darwinian thinking! DonaldLarge Me is advancing the species! His unmatched personal capacities make him the model human being against which all others will be measured. He’s big... really big. Just ask us.
He can’t help but make America Great Again. Why, DonaldLarge Me’s aroma makes America smell nice again. And, he makes Canada and Mexico smell better,too. All of North America smells nice because of him. It is Eau de Trump-o, the smell of richness.
So large are the DonaldLarge Me capacities all these opposition candidates have no reasonable hope of anything beyond single digit poll numbers in the primary race. DonaldLarge Me hopes to avoid useless bloodshed. So, they should drop out. Hey! What can I say? He has a history of winning.

WHY AM I HERE?
DonaldLarge Me is accused of hating Mexicans, Syrians, Muslims, people he fires on the Apprentice, people throws out of his rallies, and a few million others. Nothing is further from the Truth. The Truth is that DonaldLarge Me has said over and over again that he LOVES Mexicans. He hires them! He LOVES Muslims! He has a Trump Tower in Saudi. He LOVES everyone! It’s just that he has built a wall around his heart and all of those people are on the outside of that wall. Inside that wall are beautiful women. Very beautiful women. His wife. His daughter. His ex-wife. Miss Universe contestants – lots of Miss Universe contestants. In swimsuits. He loves contestants in swimsuits! But, he is not sexist. He’s just got attractive lips and a very unique pucker. Ever watch his pucker? I do. I practice. I use it before I kiss my pinkie.
    As Donnall Trumpette, the DonaldLarge Me’s Mini-Me, I can tell you that DonaldLarge me is BIG on loving! BIG!  America will be great again when everyone else loves as much as DonaldLarge Me!

WHAT DO I WANT?
DonaldLarge Me and I, his mini-me, want America to be Great Again!
     That means electing a LargeMe and a Mini-Me. No other candidate has a Mini-Me, except for DonaldLarge Me right? When you elect DonaldLarge Me, America will be so great that it will need will get a Mini-Me, too! A U.S. Mini-Me!
That was my little idea about how to celebrate the victory! DonaldLarge Me will simply buy Puerto Rico! And P.R. will become the U.S. Mini-Me! How’s that? DonaldLarge Me loves the Puerto Ricans (they’re not Mexicans, right?). And, Puerto Rico is up for sale! So, DonaldLarge Me will cut a deal with Congress to tow P.R. up here and park it right outside of New York City harbor, a short walk from Trump Tower, just like the Chinese are doing off Japan. Why not?
It will be renamed Trump-o Rico! DonaldLarge Me has agreed everyone will do the Mini-Me Pinky Kiss to get onto Trump-o Rico. Residents will have their hair dyed like DonaldLarge Me.
This is really something to look forward to! He told me that he was in love with my little idea!

© Copyright 2016, Jean W. Yeager
All Rights Reserved
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