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Friday, January 19, 2018

QUICKENING -- CROWNS OF CANDLES AND OF CROWNS THORNS


WHO AM I?
     Early in December, before Christmas and the Winter Solstice, on Santa Lucia Day, young girls walk with lit candles in a green crown-like wreath on their head. A living crown. Living candles. 
     Later comes a Cross-Quarter day between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox - Candlemas, February 2nd.  A day between the dead of Winter and life of Spring. Candlemas celebrates Quickening in the Earth, the sense of life, living and aliveness unseen but felt.
     I am the being of Quickening. I am timing. Discretion. Neither rushing forward thoughtlessly, nor waiting too long. I am the growing potentiality in any activity or enterprise. I am the time to be fulfilled.
     I am the feeling of hope for the new future you have imagined for yourself and for which you have worked ceaselessly by changing yourself. That future potential is now alive. And now, this is the moment on which balances your future. It is not you which is driving the change but the force of life; the massive force which drives ALL of life, great and small. The force which moves Sun, Moon, Earth, weather and all animals, men and microbes. This force is in you and around you is moving you slowly but relentlessly forward toward your destiny. The outcome is unknown. You can sense that it is alive but success or failure is out of your control now.
Was your judgment and work good and timely, or was it an  opportunity which has passed.

WHY AM I HERE?
Life moves from Santa Lucia and a Crown of Candles before Christmas to Easter and a Crown of Thorns through Candlemas and Quickening of life unseen but felt.
     You are living amid the forces of life and death, holding the Sun and Moon, the day and night, your hopes and dreams, what to have for breakfast, whether or not to ask for a raise. Am I dying? Still? Why can’t I be calm? What is that lump?
     You are a being who changes each day. You can affect the direction of your change. You ARE all your forces: physical, emotional and consciousness. You have created channels of habit, the neural pathways your thoughts caper along. The conclusions which stick you and hang you up. Thought thorns.
     But, here is also the NOT you. The Quickening. The Cross-Quarter day of this year. The preparation for what? A wink and a nod from Dame Adventure? Crucifixion? Resurrection?

WHAT DO I WANT?
     We must all wear the Crown of Thorns. The waiting is hard. The pain is real. But, beneath our skin into which the Thorns press is our waiting. Within our hearts and souls, is our Quickening, our life, and living. The Thorns remind us we are alive and that we are not alone. The Quickening reminds us we are dying.  Which Crown is our glory? Which Crown is our agony?
     The more we experience the Joy of life and living, the greater the suffering and the greater the opportunity to develop capacities to withstand the agony. For what do you Quicken and live? For whom do you suffer and die? What is the point of all of this?
     And, who comes forward to share your pain? They are there. They are visible and invisible. Hold their hands if they have them. Receive the moments where, with a gentle swipe they wipe the pain out of your senses and grant a moment of Clarity for an instantaneous, profound decision. It is the right time for that choice.
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© Copyright 2015, Jean W. Yeager
All Rights Reserved
      

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Monday, January 15, 2018

THREE ARABS IN A PONTIAC

This year is 30 years since the incident described below happened. This post is in honor of everyone who has a genuine spiritual experience, like a question in a dream actually going into you.  If something like this has never happened to you? Keep hitchhiking! -- Jean



WHO AM I?
  In 1988 I moved my family from Dallas, Texas to Sussex, England so my wife and I could shift gears in our careers and also to help my 3 children become “citizens of the world” in addition to being Texans by birth. My wife studied artistic therapy based on Rudolf Steiner’s color and therapeutic insights while I studied Steiner’s Social Development insights and human phase development theory (Biography).

During this year I studied with 30 other individuals from around the world: Germans, Dutch, Icelanders, Norwegians, Fins, Canadian, Spanish, Brits, Danes, Israeli, Serbs.

  The curricula was lecture and small-group intensives, art and social artistic exercises. For one year of powerful exploration of who I was. The second year I interned with staff, helped write a Total Quality Management (TQM) and worked as an Organizational Development consultant with non-profits and UK Governmental agencies. Third years was much of the same.

  In the middle of the first year, when I had turned my life upside down, and my diet radically changed (no Tex-Mex), and I was deep in self exploration, I had a remarkable dream – which is not an uncommon experience when you are on a path of total transformation. Here is my dream about Three Arabs In A Pontiac.



WHY AM I HERE?

  I am hitchhiking on a deserted roadway. There are no remarkable features besides flat. It could have been west Texas, I don’t know. I am by myself walking and thumbing.

  A gold 1974 Pontiac begins approaching. I know it is a 1974 Pontiac because it is exactly like the car I bought from my wife’s very elderly grandfather so that the family could get Mr. Fisher to stop driving. The one I had was a “lemon” but this one appeared to be radiant. The gold shimmered in the heat off the roadway.

  I have my thumb out and they stop. It’s a 2-door. I can see there are three people in the car – the driver and two passengers in the back. I bend and ask for a ride. The driver nods affirmatively. I open the door and get in. I smile at the passengers – but I never get a good look at the passenger directly behind my seat.

  We start down the road. I angle myself on the seat to see the driver and the passenger in the back, the one I can see. They are all in white robes and white keffiyehs or gutras tied with black camel hair cords. They all wear dark sunglasses so I  cannot see their eyes. The driver is a short and stocky man who resembles the Hollywood actor, Eli Wallach.

  I tell my story. From the U.S., moved my family, studying at the Centre for Social Development at Emerson College...

  I’m nervous about the guy behind me. I never see him.

  Finally the driver looks at me intently and says, “What in the HELL are you doing?!”



WHAT DO I WANT?

  Here it was, the ultimate question for us all. At that moment, his question goes INTO me. I see him speak it, it comes out of his mouth and I watch it enter into my chest. As I am lying in my bed asleep, I actually FEEL the question enter my chest. I wake up. And, I feel the question inside me. I’m horrified. It is moving. It is as if my nice, neat, well ordered thoughts and feelings were carefully placed within me to support my being confident enough to move my entire family thousands of miles across the world to pursue MY dreams of self-transformation, of studying of new ideas, lofty ideals, virtues, capacities to work with social and organizational psychology.

  For the next two weeks, the Arab’s question pushed hard on my neatly ordered inner thoughts and feelings and decisions and made sure they all became disordered.  My initial horror transformed into “dis-ease” but not illness. I physically could feel that question living within me – actually living. What the hell WAS I doing? The dream speeded up the process of change as a challenge frequently does. The question questioned everything, right down to my inner self.

  Clearly the symbolism of the dream is something that I have “gnawed on” (a phrase I have stolen from Nancy T.) over the years. But, I won’t even think about it as I don’t want to change it. It dream came and changed me. Who WERE these guys in the Pontiac? Were they Angelic agents? And, who was the one I never could see? Is he the future?
  It would have been wonderful if there was an answer for the question, but there really isn't. What the HELL AM I doing? Still. It’s still an active question. Not dead yet.
  And, as for the guy behind me, who I never see? Well, I think this a mystery, but one which brings the question into a quite different spiritual dimension.



© Copyright 2015, Jean W. Yeager
All Rights Reserved
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Jan – June 2014 threesimplequestions Blog Posts
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Thursday, January 11, 2018

LITTLE ACT OF KINDNESS


WHO AM I?
     I am just one of your acquaintances or we met at church or in the neighborhood. I am no one you would think especially outstanding. Don't try to draw attention to myself outwardly. Not too tall. A little overweight, I must admit. Light brown hair. Reading glasses. I shop at the second-hand store. I am clean and neat and well kept. I even iron my t-shirts. I may not be the brightest bulb in the pack, but I try. I work as a part-time secretary, some child-care, did hospice once. I don’t go to school, but I take classes. And, I’m in a book club. 
     I learned early on that people like to be remembered. I love birthdays, anniversaries and special days for my friends and co-workers. I have a little book I note them in. I can’t always go to the $1 store and buy a card, my life is busy, so I have a drawer of cards that I buy when they’re on sale.

WHY AM I HERE?
     So, I start a day or two before your birthday. When I get home, before I feed the cat, I take out your card and make myself a cup of tea and sit down. I’ve picked this card because I think you’ll like it. So, I sit and think about you and what you’re doing. Or maybe I’ve heard something from a friend who had run into you. I sit there and imagine you – what you look like now. I let that image of you grow and grow. I can see your smile and your eyes. And then I get my gel pen, I only use gel pens for cards, and I open the card and consider where is the best place to write the greeting - this is not an automatic deal in any way. This is your SPECIAL day.

WHAT DO I WANT?
      Then, when I’ve got the spot in my mind, I write, “Happy Birthday” in my most perfectly formed script, the hand that when you see it, you know instantly that it is from me. You have to do that in one pass and it has taken hours of practice to get it just right. But, you’re worth it. I want that connection with you.
The same with the envelope – your envelope carries your name in a beautifully penned script that virtually announces that you are someone special and this envelope is from someone special. I only use those “Celebrate” stamps because this IS a celebration – it’s your special day.
     If you were here with me now, I would slip outside and cut flowers to put around your tea cup and give you some cookies (I’m sure I’ve got some cookies) and make a REAL celebration out of it.

© Copyright 2014, Jean W. Yeager
All Rights Reserved
https://goo.gl/dn6aPT
ON SALE NOW
Jan – June 2014 threesimplequestions Blog Posts
Are Available In Book Form 
"Th3 Simple Questions: Slice Open Everyday Life" 
Available from the author (hint, hint) at
http:/www.th3simplequestions.com
Available at Internet Retailers 
==============================
"Itsa Buck" Special $1.00 eBook promotion
Use the code:NB27Y


==============================
READ SAMPLE CHAPTERS AT BUBLISH:


============================== 

REVIEWS:
JACK MAGNUS / Readers Favorite Review:  http://ow.ly/Xrogz
     5-Stars
BRENDA HAMMOND / GoodReads Review - http://ow.ly/Xrp2Z
    "You should buy this."
MARK KRAUSMAN  / GoodReads Review - http://ow.ly/Xrp0G
     5Stars

==============================
WHERE TO BUY: TH3 SIMPLE QUESTIONS: Slice Open Everyday Life
AMAZON AUTHOR SITE: http://tinyurl.com/jk9a6e7
BARNES & NOBLE: http://tinyurl.com/hzsyxun