2014 JULY - DEC - INDEX / POST SYNOPSIS - "Life Pentimento"

JULY 2014

Remembering one another is a celebration - let's practice little acts of kindness and love.

I feel compelled to search for the River of Life and my personal contribution to the richness of our existence. Can I be happy with shallowness and gravel?

This is all about Love and Armor and Tenderness. Vulnerability and Brokenness. Maybe we can meet in our Brokenness.       Neither one of us is good at giving or receiving. We need practice. Meet in our brokenness and practice Tenderness.

Mine is a very small, digital boat called a blog which sails on a very big electronic ocean called the World Wide Web.  It seems like many of us are castaways in our digital age. It's almost as if the LEO net over our head and the gizmos which capture our attention, create in us a deep longing for the truth - for the real - for authentic relationships.  Enter Biodynamics - authenticity in a bottle?

If we are brutally honest, others create us. Let's create a reverent moment to recall them and be grateful for their gifts.


Are tones embodied in people?  Could the same feelings which I found in that note or music be incarnated in a person?  What about love? Is love beyond the single tone? What is a conversation? The tone of a voice moving a heart?

"Mountain Folk Strong" - Fleeing the 2013 Colorado Front Range Flood - and battling "the powers that be".

COMPASSION LEADS TO FREEDOM:  "It is right to make ourselves as strong as possible, but the question is, can we really become strong without love?" -- Rudolf Steiner

We are all on the border. We are all moving from who we once were and where we have been into the future. That puts us all on the threshold, or border. We will all confront Guardians as we approach borders - a struggle is to be expected.

A remix of wisdom from the past and the present – contemporary lyrics adding a dimension to the through-line message of Steiner’s lecture.


LYRICS BY: Paul Simon, Bob Marley, Bob Dylan, The Band, Eric Clapton (“Cream”), The Beatles, The Wallflowers. Bruce Springsteen, and Tom Petty.

I am Dick Cheney’s brain. I have been in confidential discussions with the 1% of the 1% (wealthiest of the wealthy) and we have decided I will run for President if the opportunity presents itself. I have volunteered to be harvested in order to be the first cyborg-enhanced President.

     Dick said, “Over my dead body!” and we said, “Of course.” (Yuk, Yuk! And you thought Dick Cheney didn’t have a funny thought in his head!)

June 4, 1989 - CHINA - In the quintessential photo of the Tiananmen Square stand off, one man stands in front of four heavily armored tanks and he is holding two shopping bags. The tanks are real and symbolic of technologies and power systems used by Communist Party elites in China for control of their World - the earth, the economics, cultural and the rights life.
     June 4, 1989 - U.S.A - If there was a quintessential photo of the American "Tiananmen Square" stand off, it would be one woman standing in front of a series heavily armored Agro-industrial Corporate tanks holding two shopping bags.
     Perhaps in some weird reverse way, China and the U.S. consumers may both be longing for greater accountability from our power systems - Socialistic and Capitalistic. In addition, we may both be demanding freedom of speech - such as labeling GMO products - freedom of the press (in our case a press not controlled by Agro-industrial related corporations.)

STORMY MEETINGIf emotions are like the weather, the storm clouds have formed on the Mountain Range and other peaks are "raining on my parade". All the peaks in disagreement about my proposal and are shrouded in clouds. Why? Nothing is clear.

I AM JOURNEYI am Journey, not destination. I am the process of living. I am not the hopeful illusion you carry in your mind, not the illustrations on the map, Journey is the reality of your experience. At the end, Journey is where we all go to meet who we thought we were at the beginning.

SHE’S A STEP UP TRANSFORMERShe's a step-up transformer. She has built-in emotional circuitry which re-directs all the positive and negative energy in a party, meeting or social gathering. She enters and all heads turn her way.  Like good little magnets - we can't help ourselves. Maybe it's her laugh, or her smile, like effervescent emotional glitter, we are attracted. Is it "animal magnetism?" Maybe.


CHANGE OF HEART - I am here to get our group to move on this project, this decision. Being powerless causes an agonizing experience.  I’m stuck. I MUST be willing to be powerless. I do not have a clue what to do, my Higher Self, the Wiser Person within me who have been watching this looping for months, are able to get involved.

I AM THE CONCEALER - In this age, I am cut off from the Truth about myself for an indispensable reason – I need to become as strong as possible. That way I can withstand the forces in today’s world. I must be at full capacity and if that means I’m egoistic and filled with myself – then so be it! This is my preparation for the future – for the time when I wish to transform my capacities into spiritual capacities. I must be Free. Until then, I need The Concealer. (This is the “Micha-el Idea”.)

WHEN YOU ARE CRUSHED, WHAT GOES IN? OR WHAT IS RELEASED? - Without being challenged, broken, wounded, or tested how will our spirit receive anything creative or idealistic from the spiritual world? Or, maybe we need to be crushed so that we can offer the unique gift we keep locked tight within us, and be an inspiration to someone else?

WHO LETS THE DOGS OUT? - Anger, Doubt and Egoism are three big dogs I keep fenced in. I keep them for self-protection. Sometimes they get out and run about terrorizing people. And I have to go chasing them.  Then I have to apologize. These are very BIG dogs. They are very important parts of my life. But, who lets these dogs out?

TERMS OF SERVICE (TOS) FOR CANCER - I am a part of two writers groups in which are a number of cancer survivors – myself included. It seems to be the case that we receive cancer without a clear statement of the Terms of Service (TOS) as what was recently released by Facebook.

VAPOR TRAIL OF THE SPIRIT - I am your checkbook, your check register, your credit card statement, your Quicken, QuickBooks, Peachtree accounts, or the way in which you make note of how you spend your money. I am the vapor trail of YOUR Spirit moving into Matter – into your Life.

NIGHT SELF - The Day Self is the ash of the flame which lights the Night – the ash of YOUR flame as you unfold. Your Night Self is the invisible Night Flame which is the inner fire in the soul, the sense of Self which you dimly see fluttering just out of sight on rare occasions, the power you weep to unfurl in the day.

STALK YOURSELF - We will need to fish deeply in our depths for the deep running, gigantic parts of ourselves which we fear. We need the power of the unseen leviathans we have thought were only nice literary devices. We have lived our lives hoping never to meet these fierce, wild parts of ourselves and pretending they is not there. But they are.

OUR GROUP IS FOR THE BIRDS (really) – A PARODY OF BIRD GROUP TYPES - I would very much like it if our Dissimulation of Birds was better able to work together. When we get into our meeting, of course the Charm of Finches has to talk about their new sparkly accessories. The Starlings are Chattering, no doubt. And, that makes the Hens broody. The situation is making some of us nervous types want to fly - Fight or Flight, you know? Guess which is greater in THIS group.

WHERE GPS DOESN’T GO - I am lost. Oh, I know where I am PHYSICALLY, I’m on this  mountain track in rural Kentucky – Wolf Creek Road. Ominous name.  There was a street sign where I turned off the paved State Highway and this road has been graveled. It leads up, up, up a heavily wooded mountain. But, my GPS doesn’t go into the land of the lost.

THE CLEANING SERVICE OF YOUR INNER SANCTUARY - I am the cleaning service for your inner sanctuary - you know, that special place where you keep all the treasured memories, accomplishments, fears or catastrophes which define who you are?  Remind me, what is your inner sanctuary like? I got lots of clients I clean for - not all too different.

UH-OH - Uh-Oh is the me who is ashamed of how I MIGHT do something wrong. It hasn’t actually happened yet, but it LOOKS LIKE something wrong I’ve done before. Uh-Oh is the one that judges actions before I actually do them, and then says its name. Uh-Oh is here to lead me away from old patterns. It is the me who is an example of how many times I hurt myself, needlessly.

LIFE PENTIMENTO – I CAN’T FORGET YOU (and maybe I shouldn’t) - You can tell a painting is altered because an artist painted out an original scene. Artists call the technique of painting over scenes: “pentimento”.  I have found that experiences in my life have been painted over with a thick, opaque “gesso” of time and space. Who is the "artist" which white washed these events long past? My "wiser" self? My "less-wise" self?

DEC 2014

12/2 – IS CUROSITY EROTIC? She is the girl who brings her curiosity into every conversation with every person in every corner of the room. She smiles and forms her curiosity into specific, open ended questions which are like tiny, verbal openings which invite response. Is curiosity erotic?

12/4 – THE KEEPER OF THE LOOM WEAVES YOUR LIFE - I am the Keeper of the Loom. Hand me the light of your thinking and the dark of your passions and I will weave them into the living colors flowing from your heart on the loom of your life. How will this turn out?

12/5 – YOUR INNER FIREWALL - I am your Inner Firewall. I keep out unwanted things so that you won’t be disturbed, bothered or at risk. And, I want you to do things RIGHT, so there are some things I try to keep you from doing. I help you pre-judge yourself, be S A F E. I give you control, form, order.  I quell your inner disorder.

12/17 – CHRISTMAS SHEPHERDS PART 1 - A shepherdly-crude retelling of an old story along the same story as the Uberufer Shepherd's Play. The Shepherds make their way to Bethlehem to sell their sheep to pay for taxes. They pass the time complaining about taxes, drinking wine and dancing to stay warm. An Angel appears and send them to Bethlehem to find a child.

12/18 – CHRISTMAS SHEPHERDS STORY - Part 2 of a retelling of an old story in the Uberufer-style of medieval tales. A surly Innkeeper sends the Shepherds off with a kick and a curse and puts a couple in his stable.

12/19 – CHRISTMAS SHEPHERDS STORY – Part 3 of a retelling the old story of The Stable, Mary and Joseph.  A Child of Light is born in the darkness.

12/21 – CHRISTMAS SHEPHERDS STORY – Part 4 - the Conclusion of a shepherdly-crude retelling of the Christmas story along the lines of the medieval Uberufer Shepherd's Play. The Shepherds are visited by the Angel and go to the Stable. They give their gifts to The Child and wonder why he is born in such a poor place.


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