I’m afraid
I have aged a bit like old cheese – thick skin with some places with old mold,
harder inside, drier and a but smelly. I have a really nutty flavor. As I’ve seasoned and mellowed, the bright flavors
of my youth are now there blended ways.
Parts of my
heart are worn like the wooden steps up to the monastery, worn down by having to
do so many trips for penance.
My brain is
like a vase of flowers which has not sustained its vibrancy and so has begun to
fade. That’s why I blog – in hopes of refreshing them.
My shape is
now pear but I’m dieting. Who isn’t? My hair is white with imaginings of the
red which was once there.
Aged Love
seems to love what was once there, or see what was once there in what is now
here.
WHY AM I HERE?
To share my
disappointment at a couple of my failures, I guess. I won’t bore you with more than two.
I had hoped
to age like a leather biker’s jacket which has been burnished by wind and
weather. The one with the large, semi-fading embroidered patch: “Riding For The
Lord!” But that didn't work out.
But, to
become weathered, road-weary and have that kind of smile, you have to have had
that kind of life. Apparently non-adventurous young men look, well a little
apologetic and having been so self-protective when they are older men. No pins in the joints with great stories here.
The closest I have come is arthritis for no apparent reason.
I have more
than a few tiny cracks along the outer edge of my desk top. There are more than
a few divots. I also now regret sticking my scout knife into the surface. I
have tried to touch it up and stain back those initials I carved years ago. All
those self-inflicted defects mean that I frequently punch holes in my notebook paper
memory as I write.
WHAT DO I WANT?
The touch
of aged love anticipated touch, the long-time touch, the expected touch. The
touch which never really stopped. The deep connection. The separation which is
never really separate.
The taste of
aged love is a taste which has become smoother and more mellow each year.
The smile
of aged love is that of a 20-year-old which lights up from the 60-something’s
face.
A wink is
STILL as good as a nod to a blind man. Know what I mean? Know what I mean?
Copyright 2015, Jean W. Yeager
All Rights Reservedhttp://goo.gl/oKi7pV
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