Showing posts with label conversation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conversation. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

HUMANITY ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER



WHO AM I?
     “What does it mean to be human?”
     The capacity to speak about humanity and to see humanity as a topic reflected in public conversation has disappeared. We have a hole in our consciousness when it comes to thinking about our humanity.

     If you are incapable of having a conversation about what it means to be human, does that make you inhuman? After all, one of the qualities which is essential for being a human, is to talk to one another and tell stories. Humans are the only beings which tell stories. The richest stories which have most meaning for us are about what it means to be human.

     Rarely do the stories which are reported these days talk about how “news” affects someone’s humanity.  Parents never have a conversation with their children, or one another, about their humanity. How our humanity is being changed by actions reported in the press is what the news shows never report. Humanity and the human question is the last thing that politicians want to talk about. How to protect humanity is something which cannot find its way into laws. How Corporate actions enhance our humanity certainly is not on the Fortune 50 Board agendas.

     Caring for the humanity of customers is not discussed in sales meetings. The health of the patient’s Humanity is not taught in medical schools. Is the Humanity of students  discussed enough in a majority of high schools? Are Teachers held to a humanity proficiency scale?

     Does the military give Humanity training? Are elected officials ever elected because they talk about and demonstrate their capacity for humanity?



WHY AM I HERE?

     The reason we don’t talk about our humanity is because we now have a gap in our thinking and in our culture regarding humanity. We cannot think about how our humanity is nurtured or sustained in the American culture today, because only very small groups or individuals in our broader American culture today, pay any attention at all to humanity. So, if our broader “sense of self” pays little or no attention to our humanity – or actually works against it - then we have an attention deficit regarding humanity.

     Our view of the human being is not based on general conversations about humanity or understanding of what makes us human because in order to gain power and control, the general view of the human have been reduced to viewing humanity through specific lenses – genetics, behavioral psychological, physiological, chemical / pharmaceutical, economic, culturally specific, dogmatically religiously views, or others. All valid. All important. But the specificity has left a gap in our thinking – our capacity to think about humanity is now a negative or worse – laughed at.

     We now do not want to see our humanity or the humanity of each other because if we indeed strove for this, we would have to treat one another differently. We would have to give up our specialist thinking, our professional status, our positions of power and control. If we treat one another as objects, if I am able to label you, things are so much easier.



WHAT DO I WANT?

Is our public life so one-sided in our thinking that we are unable to think about our humanity? I want Humanity to re-emerge in our public thoughts. Because some of us have lost the ready, facile ways to think about humanity – the generally human – let me put my 2-cents on the table.

Here are some basics of humanity: kindness, tenderness, goodwill, sympathy, openness, modesty and benevolence?

We don’t see these much today discussed in our outer culture. What has hardened the hearts of the outer culture and made these appear so rarely in our public thoughts today?

Or, do the do-gooders simply do the good in the private human-to-human culture without calling attention to themselves? This means, as Vaclav Havel points out, we have a “parallel polis”.  An official culture in which humanity is disappeared and a human-based culture where humanity is alive and well – but silent.

I’m afraid the outer polis has Humanity Attention Deficit Disorder. If this continues, it will be catastrophic.



© Copyright 2015, Jean W. Yeager

All rights Reserved

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

HEART TO HEART

WHO IS SHE?
     She is the girl who brings her curiosity into every conversation with every person in every corner of the room. She smiles and forms her curiosity into specific, open ended questions which are like tiny, verbal openings which invite response. She will slowly lean into your private space and go beyond what is appropriate until it feels like she is leaning INTO you. She will smile a most engaging smile ask one of her questions. It is not sexual - that is not her intent – but when she passes your comfort boundaries, it IS intimate. Then, one of the private, locked part of your heart may gently unlock. In my case, my heart just plopped open and boy was I surprised! She knows how to go gently and slowly because some people's hearts – like mine – apparently want to plop open at the slightest nudge of the lock by the offer of genuine curiosity. And, for others, the intimacy without knowing where this is going, is too intense and their heart closes tighter.

WHY IS SHE HERE?
     Our opportunities for such heart intrusion are few these days so our hearts grow hardened.  We hard-hearted heart owners hold our hearts tightly closed. We don’t want to risk being vulnerable. So, we avoid the gentle, innocent questions – the coming ‘too close’ - preferring to continue in Stoic isolation. There may be good reasons for us to remain hidden, secretive and silent. But, here she is, with a friendly, smiling, manner which is not probing, or prying, but rather simply receptive. To be so receptive, she must be vulnerable, too. Otherwise, we would detect it. It is clear she is willing to receive whatever we feel safe and wish to share. She asks for no more. Mostly she gets a rejection in silence. Because we are NOT innocent, we can’t recognize innocence, a confused look, a mis-apprehension. We can’t trust. Innocence is Heart Wisdom, a Heart Knowledge that is without expectation or guile. Agape, not Eros. Love without sensual pleasure seeking. Rare.

WHAT DO I WANT?
     Like most of us who attend parties, I am there to replace my loneliness with your socializing. I would like to get to know this girl more, but I don't want to pry because she might pry back. And, I don’t know how to do this. It takes a Lover to teach us how to Love and if we wish to be Loved we must be willing to Love. The same with curiosity.  I AM curious about her, who she is, what she does, and how she uses her curiosity. But that means I have to risk being vulnerable – AND genuinely caring about her. My God, this has implications, I thought. Once I had her curiosity opened to me and I risked sharing what I was hiding, and felt the joy of a great conversation. So, I thought I would attempt my own conversation. My own listening to her.
     So, I slipped up beside her and I said, “I’m curious about curiosity.”
     She smiled and asked the five words which Heals Loneliness: “Oh yeah? Why is that?”
     Apparently curiosity takes skill and foreplay.

© Copyright 2014, Jean W. Yeager
All Rights Reserved


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