NEW YEAR FIRE

WHO AM I?

     And, we are laughing and looking across the fire at each other, and talking. That’s how we keep our attention focused on the present and not worry about what’s in the dark and probably looking at us from the dark forest.

     Some of us are hardwoods, dense, heavy, with thick layers of l’aubier, living sapwood.  Others of us are soft pines. Some branches, cut limbs. We toss in pine cones with lots of future yet to be released and planted. New forest re-seed themselves after the fire rages through and burns down the ancient trees. Sometimes I feel like an ancient tree. 

      As I sit in front of the fire I see that we burn our pasts. We release those seeds of the future by telling our past stories. And those are the fuel for the New Year’s fire.

     Some of our stories are about our victories. Some of the stories are about our defeats. Our losses. Some of the stories are about the things which others did to us. It is good to release those stories that are not strengthening for us. We'll toss them onto the fire pit and watch them burn. Let ‘em go. Let the sparks rise to the sky. Turn them into ashes. Let them go.

WHY ARE WE HERE?

     Sitting around the fire and telling our stories to one another is something that men do, that women do, that people do. We have been hosting fire evenings for years. We invite our longtime friends to come and sit. One would think that, after all these years that the stories would be repetitive, but they're not. Just as the years of our lives are cyclical, our storytelling to one another is likewise cyclical. We peel off the layer of one story at one time on one year on one weekend on one night there is more. Our lives are deeper than we can imagine. The hurts run very deep. In some cases there may be no end to the depths of despair that our experiences have given us. It is good to sit in front of the fire and tell those stories.

     Tonight plays a special role in the process. We are held by the darkness.

     How much smaller as a people we become when we can't live with the elements – fire, water, wind, and the earth. When we become too civilized we become too small too containerized. Domesticated. We need to be out we need to be risking.  We need to be standing in front of the raw elements. We need to float our lives down the rivers of life. We need to be blown about and buffeted by the winds. We need to be challenged by the snow. We need also to face the fires. Our I-being needs to touch the elements.

     There used to be refining fires when things were melted and smelted and created by those who work the metals. Our metals in our hearts and our lives are still worked over. But many of us are not so skilled his craftsman's. When things get hot and we start getting pounded we tend to flee rather than join in the pounding. Let's take this thing and pound it into a different shape. We can change, we can grow. But we must be willing to withstand the pain. Stand the heat. So long as we are the cause of our own heat and realize that then were willing to put up with it. The refining fire will burn out the impurities in our character. Smelt the iron of our selves. But we have to put ourselves into that fire we have to load that fire tray with what we want to burn.

     It is amazing how quickly our life stories which are soft and flabby, go up in smoke. That's all they are is smoke. Very little heat. Softwood is only water and smoke. And so our lives. If they have been uneventful barely warm us.

WHAT DO I WANT?

     I want to sit with old friends around the fire. I don't give a damn how cold it is outside. I live in Vermont. And in Vermont you can count on there being ice and snow and how many Vermonters do not want to sit outside. How many Vermonters can't stand the fidgetiness of nature? You can stand the fidgetiness of nature if in your heart you have a burning fire. You have a desire. You have a love.

     And, of course, this year is not cold. There has been no ice and snow. Like sometimes in our lives, we are not challenged. We are not met by opposition. Life gives us a “pass” and there is, seemingly, no resistance. But, the reality does not matter.

    We will sit, and drape ourselves in a bit less jackets and the fire will seem hotter. And the stories, when they come, will blaze brighter. But the dark will be just as dark, and deep and mysterious. We know the mountains which we must cross in the future are just as high, and lie over to the East. As we ascend, there will be more snow. And, you know the snow will eventually come. Eventually.

And your future vision prepares for it. Your heart will be glad when the leaden skies return.

     And your friends will return. They have been delayed. But, they have said they will be there. They will come for the fire. The New Year will come, eventually. And you will be prepared. The saws and axes to cut and split the stories are to one side.

You know the future will be coming. Soon. And you hope it will arrive as will the unexpected guest.

© Copyright 2016, Jean W. Yeager

All Rights Reserved

TH3 SIMPLE QUESTIONS: Slice Open Everyday Life

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REFINING FIRE - WITH AN AUDIO VERSION

LISTEN TO A READING OF THIS POST

WHO AM I?

We sit and face the fire and the sparks rise to the sky, and at our backs is the dark night of the future. The cold and unknown in the dark behind us. Our faces are illuminated by the bright orange and red that's blazing forth in front of us as the wood of our lives bursts into flames. And, we are laughing and looking across the fire at each other, and talking. That’s how we keep our attention focused on the present and not worry about what’s in the dark and probably looking at us from the dark future forest.

We are a mixed lot and grow in different climes. Some of us are hardwoods, dense, heavy, with thick layers of l’aubier, living sapwood. Strong. Bearing a lot. Occasionally showy. Colorful. You know those sturdy folk by their fire. Their fires are hot.

Others of us are soft pines. Softwood is only water and smoke. It is amazing how quickly our softwood life stories go up in smoke.. Very little heat, lots of ash. And so our life fire, if we have grown too soft, burns the uneventful which barely warms us.

We toss in our pinecones with lots of future yet to be released and planted. New forest re-seed themselves after the fire rages through and burns down the ancient trees. Sometimes I feel like an ancient tree. And when I sit with my friends in front of the fire I see that we burn our pasts. We release those seeds of the future by telling our past stories. And those are the fuel for the New Year’s fire.

Some of our stories are about our victories. Some of the stories are about our defeats. Our losses. Some of the stories are about the things which others did to us. It is good to release those stories that are not strengthening for us. We'll toss them onto the fire pit and watch them burn. Let ‘em go. Let the sparks rise to the sky. Turn them into ashes. Let them go.

WHY AM I HERE?

Sitting around the fire and telling our stories to one another is something that men do, that women do, that people do. We have been hosting fire evenings for years. We invite our longtime friends to come and sit. One would think that, after all these years that the stories would be repetitive, but they're not. Just as the years of our lives are cyclical, our storytelling to one another is likewise cyclical. We peel off the layer of one story at one time on one year on one weekend on one night there is more. Our lives are deeper than we can imagine. The hurts run very deep. In some cases there may be no end to the depths of despair that our experiences have given us. It is good to sit in front of the fire and tell those stories.

Tonight plays a special role in the process. We are held by the darkness.

How much smaller as a people we become when we can't live with the elements – fire, water, wind, and the earth. When we become too civilized we become too small too containerized. Domesticated. We need to be out. We need to be risking. We need to be standing in front of the raw elements. We need to float our lives down the rivers of life. We need to be blown about and buffeted by the winds. We need to be challenged by the snow. We need also to face the fires. Our I-being needs to be in touch with the God of the elements.

There used to be refining fires when things were melted and smelted and created by those who work the metals. Our metals in our hearts and our lives are still worked over. But many of us are not so skilled as craftsman's. When things get hot and we start getting pounded we tend to flee rather than join in the pounding. Let's take this life and pound it into a different shape. We can change, we can grow. But we must be willing to withstand the pain. Stand the heat. So long as we are the cause of our own heat and realize that we are willing to put up with it. The refining fire will burn out the impurities in our character. Smelt the iron of our selves. But we have to put ourselves into that fire we have to load that fire tray coal or our hardwood self which we want to burn.

WHAT DO I WANT?

And, of course, this year is not cold. There has been very little ice and snow. Like sometimes in our lives, we are not challenged. We are not met by opposition. Life gives us a “pass” and there is, seemingly, no resistance. But, the reality does not matter.

We will sit, and drape ourselves a bit less in jackets and the fire will seem hotter. And the stories, when they come, will blaze brighter. But the dark will be just as dark, and deep and mysterious. We know the mountains which we must cross in the future are just as high, and lie over to the East. As we ascend, there will be more snow. And, you know the snow will eventually come. Eventually.

And your future vision prepares for it. Your heart will be glad when the leaden, snow filled skies return.

And your friends return. They have been delayed. But, they have said they would be there. They will come for the fire. The New Year will come, eventually. And you will be prepared. The saws and axes to cut and split the stories are to one side.

You know it will be coming. Soon. And you hope it will arrive as will the unexpected guest.

© Copyright 2016, Jean W. Yeager All rights Reserved

LET'S BE BRUTALLY HONEST AND CREATE A REVERENT MOMENT

WHO AM I?

     If we are brutally honest with ourselves we have to admit how very little much of what we know is as a result of our own efforts. The fact is, we are taught a great deal. So-called scientific or technological "breakthroughs" are usually less radical than supposed because of the important contributions of others leading up to the breakthrough. In whatever work we have, it is our good fortune to "ride on the shoulders of giants."

     Who we are – our own character – is usually due more to the strong influence of one or more people than to our own success at realizing and developing the qualities of character on our own that we need in advance. Usually, just at the moment when our desperate lack of deep capacity becomes most obvious to us, a person appears in our lives and the trajectory of our destiny, for good or ill, is changed forever. We model after them.

     These "giants" make us strong. Or, they helped us realize our own power. They give us an opportunity. Or, they create a tragedy that forced us to focus, choose or decide. They lead us, love us, follow us or touch our heart. Or they try to manipulate, control or bully us in which ever fashion, positive or negative – they put our life question into our hands.

WHY WERE THEY HERE?

     Who were these people? Create a moment of reverence. Write down their names. Menally and emotionally re-experience who they were. How they look. What they said. What words there personal gestures?

     Were are they there to bring the positive into your life, or the negative? Did they bear an answer to a deep question or longing which you had? Or did they bring a confrontation or a threat – a challenge? Did they SAVE you from falling into the abyss or push you over the edge? Did they bring you something you NEEDED to hear? Or, something you needed to face and resist?

     Why were they there?

     Maybe it was that mentor who patiently offered you their way to the craft, the RIGHT way to do something lasting. And the lesson was one of dealing with THEM and their arrogance or timidity as much is it was about the skills they taught.

     Or, maybe it was that friend or relative who ran the scams and offered you their method to cut corners, runs the game, make the sale, "bait and switch" or make a fast buck – and move on.

     Perhaps it was a lover who was able to lift you up, get behind your defensive "shields" and intimately and sexually see you as you are for that one genuine moment – but in that moment you were changed and able to give and receive.

     Or, could it have been a situation which ended badly? The loss of something? A hard place. An  un-just incident. A defenseless moment of vulnerability? What was that lesson?

     Maybe it was the schoolyard bully projected into the world's worst boss? Or, the flip side, the boss the trusted you and gave you the opportunity to prove yourself. They were there, but why? Why this person? Why you?

WHAT DID THEY WANT?

     By gratefully acknowledging their gifts we create a new relationship with them. The people that you allowed to change you and touch you had great power over you. If these people were of significant capacities – "giants" as we called them – they were people of power, enough power to magnetically draw you to them. Certainly far more power than you had at that moment.

     What did THEY want from you? Your admiration? Your obedience? Your strength? Your unique gifts? To abuse you? How did you not fall under their "spell"? Or did you?

     Through your strengths and weaknesses, your acceptance and resistance, there may have been power, conflict or intimacy which may have been discharged, like lightning, in an explosive moment.

     What happened? Did they get what they wanted? Did you? Where they changed or were you change? Were you able to find the courage you needed? Find the love? The joy? The enthusiasm? The ability to resist? The clarity of perception to judge and act in the situation?

     What was formed in you?

     What special strengths do you carry in your heart today as a result of this interaction that you are still giving to the world? Are you, perhaps, now the "giant"?

(c) Copyright 2014, Jean W. Yeager

All Rights Reserved