REVISITED Overview "Three Simple Questions" - "Who am I?", "Why am I here?" and "What do I want?"

Dear Reader,
     This blog was started in January 2014 and this post was originally drafted at that time.  Now it is October 2014 and I find that because of the dating structure of the blog format, very few people scroll down to see the original post. So I'm re-posting it.  The other reason to re-post it is for me to see if there is reason to change this. I think I've held, thus far to the original idea through 75 posts over 10 months and an average of 2 posts per week.

This blog cracks open the day-to-day stuff of life and reveals the unseen, allegorical and mystical -- things that are ever more about to be. As technology and economics have become ever more powerful and intense during my life I have felt that man must become ever more human and seek a reality beyond the manipulation of both and cultivate feelings of heart

I am grateful for a weekly dynamic journal writing class taught by Joanna Tebbs Young which introduced me to this technique. The assignment was very simple: every week, or more frequently, take five minutes and answer these three simple questions: "Who am I?", Why am I here?", and "What do I want?" 

The writing seeks to be an immediate act of composition - free from all rules and artful manipulation. It is intimate and personal.  I have sought to write honestly and dynamically using unconsciousness creativity. Any re-working which has been done is done immediately and under the impetus of the first conception.

Thank you for reading this blog. I hope you come back again. I will be working hard to give you something worth your time and effort.

-- Jean Yeager, January 2014 / April 2014 / October 2014

(c) Copyright 2014 Jean W. Yeager

All Rights Reserved 

NIGHT SELF

WHO AM I?

     The Day Self is the ash of the flame which lights the Night – the ash of YOUR flame as you unfold. Your Night Self is the invisible Night Flame which is the inner fire in the soul, the sense of Self which you dimly see fluttering just out of sight on rare occasions, the power you weep to unfurl in the day.

     What is this shallow sense of space allotted to the Day Self formed by anyway? What’s left over for you by somebody else? Not in the Night. No second best for the Night Self. What is the sense of space your TRUE Self would fill? Are you a far bigger being than life during the day allows you to be? Sit here. Stand there. Things are larger by moonlight and shadow, you feel free of the body.

     The Night Self is the one who makes the important decisions for the Day Self. The Night Self is the one who selects the places the Day Self takes you. This is because the Day Self is limited by logic which is limited by your senses and daylight which only reveals things thought,  dead ideas, the known. The Night Self is guided by the living, the unseen future, stars.

WHY AM I HERE?

     You go by feel into the night. Shut down your senses, your petty judgments, your indecision. Go beyond your skin. Go by feel. By smell. Be guided by the taste of the others. Soft. Slick. Intimate. Unexpected. Not body bound, soul able to penetrate another soul.

You’re not alone. You’re never alone. The beds are not empty. The doors are unlocked. There are no keys. You’re not land-locked. Some of us sit around the table, drinking the elixirs and watch the Night Flames unfurl. The boat is rocking at anchor. People are murmuring softly. Who will ferry whom to the Spirit Land?

     We go by non-sense into the Night. Nonsense. Do not over-think the Night. You will be wrong because it’s nonsense.

The feeling of readiness. Anticipation for the unknown. The vitality of the night bubbles into your soul. The fear of the unknown, then unseen, the three Strange Angels need to be welcomed – they bear gifts.

WHAT DO I WANT?

     Sleep is the little death. The little death which readies us for the Big Death. Each of your night’s little death’s is made up of each night’s life:  the intimacies, the penetrating others, the unfolding. Each is a moment, a thread which will be woven together with last night and the night before and the one before.

Your Night Self is the Keeper of the Loom and will take up all your nights and weave them into your garment of destiny, it’s Self.

     Starting at the instant of your death, and for three days following, the Night Self will gather it’s Self it will ignite it’s Self into a bonfire - an unfurling final Night Flame arising into the sky. A star? Your path Home?

© Copyright 2014, Jean W. Yeager

All Rights Reserved
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