WHO AM I?
If we are brutally honest with ourselves we have to admit how
very little much of what we know is as a result of our own efforts. The fact
is, we are taught a great deal. So-called scientific or technological
"breakthroughs" are usually less radical than supposed because of the
important contributions of others leading up to the breakthrough. In whatever
work we have, it is our good fortune to "ride on the shoulders of
giants."
Who we are – our own character – is usually due more to the
strong influence of one or more people than to our own success at realizing and
developing the qualities of character on our own that we need in advance.
Usually, just at the moment when our desperate lack of deep capacity becomes
most obvious to us, a person appears in our lives and the trajectory of our
destiny, for good or ill, is changed forever. We model after them.
These "giants" make us strong. Or, they helped us
realize our own power. They give us an opportunity. Or, they create a tragedy
that forced us to focus, choose or decide. They lead us, love us, follow us or
touch our heart. Or they try to manipulate, control or bully us in which ever
fashion, positive or negative – they put our life question into our hands.
WHY WERE THEY HERE?
Who were these people? Create a moment of reverence. Write down
their names. Menally and emotionally re-experience who they were. How they
look. What they said. What words there personal gestures?
Were are they there to bring the positive into your life, or the
negative? Did they bear an answer to a deep question or longing which you had?
Or did they bring a confrontation or a threat – a challenge? Did they SAVE you
from falling into the abyss or push you over the edge? Did they bring you
something you NEEDED to hear? Or, something you needed to face and resist?
Why were they there?
Maybe it was that mentor who patiently offered you their way to
the craft, the RIGHT way to do something lasting. And the lesson was one of
dealing with THEM and their arrogance or timidity as much is it was about the
skills they taught.
Or, maybe it was that friend or relative who ran the scams and
offered you their method to cut corners, runs the game, make the sale,
"bait and switch" or make a fast buck – and move on.
Perhaps it was a lover who was able to lift you up, get behind
your defensive "shields" and intimately and sexually see you as you
are for that one genuine moment – but in that moment you were changed and able
to give and receive.
Or, could it have been a situation which ended badly? The loss
of something? A hard place. An un-just
incident. A defenseless moment of vulnerability? What was that lesson?
Maybe it was the schoolyard bully projected into the world's
worst boss? Or, the flip side, the boss the trusted you and gave you the opportunity
to prove yourself. They were there, but why? Why this person? Why you?
WHAT DID THEY WANT?
By gratefully acknowledging their gifts we create a new
relationship with them. The people that you allowed to change you and touch you
had great power over you. If these people were of significant capacities –
"giants" as we called them – they were people of power, enough power
to magnetically draw you to them. Certainly far more power than you had at that
moment.
What did THEY want from you? Your admiration? Your obedience?
Your strength? Your unique gifts? To abuse you? How did you not fall under
their "spell"? Or did you?
Through your strengths and weaknesses, your acceptance and
resistance, there may have been power, conflict or intimacy which may have been
discharged, like lightning, in an explosive moment.
What happened? Did they get what they wanted? Did you? Where
they changed or were you change? Were you able to find the courage you needed?
Find the love? The joy? The enthusiasm? The ability to resist? The clarity of
perception to judge and act in the situation?
What was formed in you?
What special strengths do you carry in your heart today as a
result of this interaction that you are still giving to the world? Are you,
perhaps, now the "giant"?
(c) Copyright 2014, Jean
W. Yeager
All Rights Reserved
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