DICK CHENEY’S BRAIN
WANTS TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT
Due to
a miracle of modern medicine and unlimited funding, death will not stop Dick
Cheney's brain from running for President.
CONFIDENTIAL
MEMO:
FROM
DICK CHENEY TASK FORCE
RE:
Dick Cheney’s brain.
Confidential
discussions with the 1% of the 1% Republicans (wealthiest of the wealthy
Republicans) and they decided Dick Cheney’s brain should be ready to run for
President just as soon as the opportunity presents itself.
Dick
volunteered to be “harvested” in order to be the first cyborg-enhanced
President. Dick said, “Over my dead body!” and we said, “Of course.” (Yuk, Yuk!
And you thought Dick Cheney didn’t have a funny thought in his head!) He will
live in a small PetSmart fish tank supported by finest advanced technology
known to man provided by America's highest high-tech companies.
Dick
will be the most experienced candidate for President. And, he is not tainted by
the current Republican administration. He worked for Nixon and Ford White
Houses and was Chief of Staff; was elected in Wyoming then served as Secretary
of Defense, Vice President for “W”, and now, he will have overcome death.
The
choice of Cheney for President is
obvious. Wouldn’t you rather have a brilliant, experienced, ruthless brain in a
secure PetSmart fish-tank than Donald Trump?
Since Cheney
will have died and cannot die again, this Task Force can guarantee that if
Republicans elect Cheney’s brain, they will have a leader who has proven he is
not afraid to take on dictators, thugs and scumbags - not necessarily in that
order.
WHY DO
THIS?
There
are serious, Fake News, court challenges looming. There are weapons of mass
destruction poised to do the U.S. harm. There is a coup ready to happen. The
FBI and Congress can’t be trusted. If we don’t have THE RIGHT leader who
BELIEVES this, and is ready to ACT and ACT swiftly, then our way of life is in
peril as it was with the 1st and 2nd Iraq invasions.
You
knew Dick. You know that his brain would move whatever political, military and
economic levers necessary to remove the terrorists, domestic and foreign.
America
needs a strong man in office, and Cheney is the strongest candidate, even if he
may be physically floating in a PetSmart fish-tank hooked up by Haliburton,
Microsoft and Dell.
Google
has provided Dick’s brain with a set of VR glasses. Dragon Naturally Speaking
will let him dictate all communication. Blue Tooth makes him smile. He will be
on the job, 24/7 which is good because we will need the extra time to undo this
court triggered gridlock. This swamp.
Cheney
is totally NOT afraid to stand up, or drift up, for American values and take
our country back from the dangerous path on which it has been traveling.
Cheney
doesn’t have a backbone but his spineless body has more spine than those
so-called patriots in Congress! He’ll show us how to overcome gridlock! After
all, he orchestrated the War on Terror, pushed through the NSA wiretapping and
waterboarding. When he’s President, Congress better pay attention or else a
little invitation to visit with the fish tank!
WHAT DO
WE NEED?
Look at
his track record! He voted against the Department of Education and Head Start.
“What a waste of money, educating young poor kids (didn't do ME any good!)!
Sorry President Reagan, but I voted to against the sanctions on South Africa
because of apartheid – that was bad for business and 1%/1% profits! I
also opposed releasing Nelson Mandella – that man was a terrorist and worse, a
Communist!”
Gorbachev
and Yeltsin - he was skeptical, VERY skeptical about those guys, guess where he
stands (or floats) on Putin? (Can a fish tank snarl?) The Saudis? How did their
sand get on our oil? And, remember, it was Cheney who ordered the invasion of
Panama.
He
wants the Tea Party to remember that a TRUE American KEEPS LOOKING for “yellow
cake” until he finds it.
Look at
how WRONG the world has been on so many things – Cheney would shake his head in
disbelief if he had a head!
What we
need is for everyone to look at Cheney’s record and get over any inhibitions
about electing “a floater”. He once had a birth certificate, he will have a
death certificate and he will have a PetSmart fish tank certificate.
Does
the Constitution allow this? The Constitution says nothing about this. This
will actually be a refreshing change. After all, how many Presidents have we
had with NO brain whatsoever? Plus with the Supreme Court we have now,
no-problemo!
WRITTEN DURING THE LAST ELECTION CYCLE -
STILL FUNNY BUT
UNFORTUNATELY RELEVANT FOR TODAY!!
MORALIC ACID Satire & Truth MORALIC CATALYST: 2015-2016 Political bLog Posts
A collection of biting political satire in small doses like moralic acid, and truth like a moralic catalyst for change. These drew thousands of hits as blog posts. "I Am The Tongue Of The Liar", "Dick Cheney's Brain Wants To Run For President," "Trump-O-Rico - The U.S.'s 'Mini Me'", "Lighting Alt Farts", " "Jam Tomorrow Says The White Queen", "Authoritarian Eyes", "Niccolo Machiavelli and Resurrection Forces", "B'rer Sanders and The Tar (Sands) Baby", and more!
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