Friday, February 27, 2015

AN OLD FRONTIER OF THE HEART


WHO AM I?
     It was long before she worried about the woman parts of her body; and long before I was stung and embarrassed when my father said “grow up”. Some worried we spent so much time together walking away from the subdivision. But, it was long before what even we might call Love was lost. We were kids. We were explorers. And the world was all long trail, outward, and away from where we always played alone. You were shy. So was I. We didn’t touch but lived in a spiral, in a place where we were intimate. We had secret code-words, and pet names, and curiosity unexplored. We held hands, not much; not because it symbolized anything, but because we were new and filling our hearts with one another. This was the first time. And the time which never returned.

WHY AM I HERE?
     When you look back down that trail and see those two, me and you, who were so innocent, it seems impossible that you were ever so small and fresh. Impossible that I was so open. That we experienced a world together before the world as we know it now slowly became guarded behind expectations of others.
     Can we scrub away the layers of the years and make ourselves expectant to be discovered? Can a heart become a virgin frontier? Can first love ever be found once the first love has gone its separate way? Can we become untouched? Can there be an old frontier of the heart? A once and never tenderness longing to be explored?

WHAT DO I WANT?
     I found this old memory in my heart. A joy not used up. You and a photo and old longings set aside. Strolls down paths which no longer exist and could not be found. That lead…? Our lives have made the frontier between us like Briar Rose’s hedge: dense, complex, thorny.
Anyway. What do I want, really? I don’t want to interrupt your life. I don’t desire to bring pain. I just want to know if you would smile that long time ago innocent smile if you saw me. The one you smiled when my squeaky old bike came up the hill and you heard it, turned and waved.

© Copyright 2015, Jean W. Yeager
All Rights Reserved


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Jan – June 2014 threesimplequestions Blog Posts
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Friday, February 20, 2015

CROWNS OF CANDLES AND OF CROWNS THORNS


WHO AM I?
     Early in December, before Christmas and the Winter Solstice, on Santa Lucia Day, young girls walk with lit candles in a green crown-like wreath on their head. A living crown. Living candles. 
     Later comes a Cross-Quarter day between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox - Candlemas, February 2nd.  A day between the dead of Winter and life of Spring. Candlemas celebrates Quickening in the Earth, the sense of life, living and aliveness unseen but felt.
     I am the being of Quickening. I am timing. Discretion. Neither rushing forward thoughtlessly, nor waiting too long. I am the growing potentiality in any activity or enterprise. I am the time to be fulfilled.
     I am the feeling of hope for the new future you have imagined for yourself and for which you have worked ceaselessly by changing yourself. That future potential is now alive. And now, this is the moment on which balances your future. It is not you which is driving the change but the force of life; the massive force which drives ALL of life, great and small. The force which moves Sun, Moon, Earth, weather and all animals, men and microbes. This force is in you and around you is moving you slowly but relentlessly forward toward your destiny. The outcome is unknown. You can sense that it is alive but success or failure is out of your control now.
Was your judgment and work good and timely, or was it an  opportunity which has passed.

WHY AM I HERE?
Life moves from Santa Lucia and a Crown of Candles before Christmas to Easter and a Crown of Thorns through Candlemas and Quickening of life unseen but felt.
     You are living amid the forces of life and death, holding the Sun and Moon, the day and night, your hopes and dreams, what to have for breakfast, whether or not to ask for a raise. Am I dying? Still? Why can’t I be calm? What is that lump?
     You are a being who changes each day. You can affect the direction of your change. You ARE all your forces: physical, emotional and consciousness. You ARE have created channels of habit, the neural pathways your thoughts caper along. The conclusions which stick you and hang you up. Thought thorns.
     But, here is also the NOT you. The Quickening. The Cross-Quarter day of this year. The preparation for what? A wink and a nod from Dame Adventure? Crucifixion? Resurrection?

WHAT DO I WANT?
     We must all wear the Crown of Thorns. The waiting is hard. The pain is real. But, beneath our skin into which the Thorns press is our waiting. Within our hearts and souls, is our Quickening, our life, and living. The Thorns remind us we are alive and that we are not alone. The Quickening reminds us we are dying.  Which Crown is our glory? Which Crown is our agony?
     The more we experience the Joy of life and living, the greater the suffering and the greater the opportunity to develop capacities to withstand the agony. For what do you Quicken and live? For whom do you suffer and die? What is the point of all of this?
     And, who comes forward to share your pain? They are there. They are visible and invisible. Hold their hands if they have them. Receive the moments where, with a gentle swipe of they wipe the pain out of your senses and grant a moment of Clarity for an instantaneous, profound decision. It is the right time for that choice.

© Copyright 2015, Jean W. Yeager
All Rights Reserved
      

ON SALE NOW
Jan – June 2014 threesimplequestions Blog Posts
Are Available In Book Form 
"Th3 Simple Questions: Slice Open Everyday Life" 
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http:/www.th3simplequestions.com
Available at Internet Retailers 
By WestBow Press
6x9 Perfect Bound Softcover @ $11.95
ISBN: 978-1-4908-7124-0
6x9 Dust Jacket Hardcover @ $28.95
ISBN: 978-1-4908-7125-7
E-Book @ $3.99
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Thursday, February 19, 2015

CALENDAR OF VIRTUES: January 21 - February 20 - Please post your comments

PLEASE FOLLOW THIS LINK TO 

POST YOUR INSIGHTS IN THE COMMENTS AREA  FEBRUARY 20

www.calendarofvirtues.blogspot.com 

THIS MONTH’S VIRTUE TRANSITION:
CALENDAR OF VIRTUES –  January 21 - February 20

Discretion Becomes Meditative Strength
Opposite: Criticism, Comment

PLEASE WRITE YOUR INSIGHTS - Then, please post your insights (150 - 200 words max.) in the COMMENTS area starting Feb 20, 2014.

 If you have problems with posting in the comments area, send your insights in a post via email to: 3simplequestions@gmail.com

Friday, February 6, 2015

NOV 2014 BLOG POSTS

STALK YOURSELF - We will need to fish deeply in our depths for the deep running, gigantic parts of ourselves which we fear. We need the power of the unseen leviathans we have thought were only nice literary devices. We have lived our lives hoping never to meet these fierce, wild parts of ourselves and pretending they is not there. But they are.

OUR GROUP IS FOR THE BIRDS (really) – A PARODY OF BIRD GROUP TYPES - I would very much like it if our Dissimulation of Birds was better able to work together. When we get into our meeting, of course the Charm of Finches has to talk about their new sparkly accessories. The Starlings are Chattering, no doubt. And, that makes the Hens broody. The situation is making some of us nervous types want to fly - Fight or Flight, you know? Guess which is greater in THIS group.

WHERE GPS DOESN’T GO - I am lost. Oh, I know where I am PHYSICALLY, I’m on this  mountain track in rural Kentucky – Wolf Creek Road. Ominous name.  There was a street sign where I turned off the paved State Highway and this road has been graveled. It leads up, up, up a heavily wooded mountain. But, my GPS doesn’t go into the land of the lost.

THE CLEANING SERVICE OF YOUR INNER SANCTUARY - I am the cleaning service for your inner sanctuary - you know, that special place where you keep all the treasured memories, accomplishments, fears or catastrophes which define who you are?  Remind me, what is your inner sanctuary like? I got lots of clients I clean for - not all too different.

UH-OH - Uh-Oh is the me who is ashamed of how I MIGHT do something wrong. It hasn’t actually happened yet, but it LOOKS LIKE something wrong I’ve done before. Uh-Oh is the one that judges actions before I actually do them, and then says its name. Uh-Oh is here to lead me away from old patterns. It is the me who is an example of how many times I hurt myself, needlessly.

LIFE PENTIMENTO – I CAN’T FORGET YOU (and maybe I shouldn’t) - You can tell a painting is altered because an artist painted out an original scene. Artists call the technique of painting over scenes: “pentimento”.  I have found that experiences in my life have been painted over with a thick, opaque “gesso” of time and space. Who is the "artist" which white washed these events long past? My "wiser" self? My "less-wise" self?


Thursday, February 5, 2015

THINGS WORK OUT


WHO AM I?
     I am a very quick thinking person. I am smart. Brilliant, actually. I am opinionated. In my opinion, I know what to do. I know the RIGHT thing to do. The correct thing to do about any problem – ANY problem, big or small, can be successfully solved if people would simply do as I say.
     It is so inconvenient that the Divine Right to Rule has been done away with. God gave me this gift of intelligence and so I ought to be in charge. The problem we have that slows down our group process is that the group has this idea that they are equal to me.
I have reminded them that we would save so much time if everyone looked to me for leadership. You wouldn't believe the looks on their faces. Oh, well, what do you expect - groundlings.
    
WHY AM I HERE?
     Every time we have a meeting and a question arises, I am there to give them the answer about what to do. That’s my duty as the smartest, and FASTEST one in the group. It very quickly becomes clear to me about what to do, it ought to be clear to them, too. Maybe not. But I am always hopeful.
     So I restate the question as I see it, and I remind them of their mistakes in the past, and give them the answer about what to do today. Then they ignore me. Can you believe it!? I begin telling them how WRONG they are. They get offended with the TRUTH! I toss the correct answer out there – a cute cuddly kitten of a solution to the problem. I give them the correct answer! What, in my opinion ought to be done. It ought to be WELCOMED and adopted by the group IMMEDIATELY! Cuddled and petted. But, No-o. It dies. They ignore the CORRECT ANSWER! Dead. It just lies there like a dead cat in the middle of the table - cold, stiff, untouchable.
      Then they all go on talking about the problem as if what just happened, never happened. They have KILLED the correct answer and everybody KNOWS it’s the correct answer.

WHAT DO I WANT?
     I only want what Woody Allen said he wanted: “A mass outpouring of love from a grateful nation.”
     I went away from the last meeting carrying my dead kitty when a group member slipped up to me and said three words: “Things work out.”
     What did that mean?
     Apparently it meant that whether or not I solved problems quickly, and tossed pretty kitties onto the table (which the meeting ignored and they died of cruel neglect), the group went ahead and eventually made decisions.
     Things worked out – without me.  Yeah, dumb decisions were made without me!
     So, I did a clever, well thought out thing: I went to the next meeting and I put my fingers over my mouth. It looked like I was deep in thought, but I was really holding my lips closed, holding myself back and I watched the meeting progress.
They talked and they talked! Endlessly they offered one bad idea after another. Half-baked ideas. Sure failures. One or two sparklers which nobody recognized. But, everybody had their say.  And, eventually, the group dropped into thoughtful silence, maybe not thoughtful but they were quiet. It was the moment for a solution to arise. Aha!
From under the table, I brought forth my good idea, the correct solution. I just put it on the table AFTER everyone had exhausted their pea-brains and shut up. The timing was appropriate. My answer actually cleverly incorporated bits of everyone’s bad ideas into a new, elegant solution.
Now, things worked out – with me!

© Copyright 2015, Jean W. Yeager
All Rights Reserved


ON SALE NOW
Jan – June 2014 threesimplequestions Blog Posts
Are Available In Book Form 
"Th3 Simple Questions: Slice Open Everyday Life" 
Available at
http:/www.th3simplequestions.com
Available at Internet Retailers 
By WestBow Press
6x9 Perfect Bound Softcover @ $11.95
ISBN: 978-1-4908-7124-0
6x9 Dust Jacket Hardcover @ $28.95
ISBN: 978-1-4908-7125-7
E-Book @ $3.99
ISBN: 978-1-4908-7123-3