Tuesday, December 2, 2014


     She is the girl who brings her curiosity into every conversation with every person in every corner of the room. She smiles and forms her curiosity into specific, open ended questions which are like tiny, verbal openings which invite response. She will slowly lean into your private space and go beyond what is appropriate until it feels like she is leaning INTO you. She will smile a most engaging smile ask one of her questions. It is not sexual - that is not her intent – but when she passes your comfort boundaries, it IS intimate. Then, one of the private, locked part of your heart may gently unlock. In my case, my heart just plopped open and boy was I surprised! She knows how to go gently and slowly because some people's hearts – like mine – apparently want to plop open at the slightest nudge of the lock by the offer of genuine curiosity. And, for others, the intimacy without knowing where this is going, is too intense and their heart closes tighter.

     Our opportunities for such heart intrusion are few these days so our hearts grow hardened.  We hard-hearted heart owners hold our hearts tightly closed. We don’t want to risk being vulnerable. So, we avoid the gentle, innocent questions – the coming ‘too close’ - preferring to continue in Stoic isolation. There may be good reasons for us to remain hidden, secretive and silent. But, here she is, with a friendly, smiling, manner which is not probing, or prying, but rather simply receptive. To be so receptive, she must be vulnerable, too. Otherwise, we would detect it. It is clear she is willing to receive whatever we feel safe and wish to share. She asks for no more. Mostly she gets a rejection in silence. Because we are NOT innocent, we can’t recognize innocence, a confused look, a mis-apprehension. We can’t trust. Innocence is Heart Wisdom, a Heart Knowledge that is without expectation or guile. Agape, not Eros. Love without sensual pleasure seeking. Rare.

     Like most of us who attend parties, I am there to replace my loneliness with your socializing. I would like to get to know this girl more, but I don't want to pry because she might pry back. And, I don’t know how to do this. It takes a Lover to teach us how to Love and if we wish to be Loved we must be willing to Love. The same with curiosity.  I AM curious about her, who she is, what she does, and how she uses her curiosity. But that means I have to risk being vulnerable – AND genuinely caring about her. My God, this has implications, I thought. Once I had her curiosity opened to me and I risked sharing what I was hiding, and felt the joy of a great conversation. So, I thought I would attempt my own conversation. My own listening to her.
     So, I slipped up beside her and I said, “I’m curious about curiosity.”
     She smiled and asked the five words which Heals Loneliness: “Oh yeah? Why is that?”
     Apparently curiosity takes skill and foreplay.

© Copyright 2014, Jean W. Yeager
All Rights Reserved

Jan – June 2014 threesimplequestions Blog Posts
Are Available In Book Form 
"Th3 Simple Questions: Slice Open Everyday Life" 
Available at
Available at Internet Retailers 
By WestBow Press
6x9 Perfect Bound Softcover @ $11.95
ISBN: 978-1-4908-7124-0
6x9 Dust Jacket Hardcover @ $28.95
ISBN: 978-1-4908-7125-7
E-Book @ $3.99
ISBN: 978-1-4908-7123-3

No comments:

Post a Comment