PROBLEMS
American
Heritage Collegiate Thesaurus, page 616.
1. A
situation that presents a difficulty, uncertainty, or perplexity. Sample case: a
hornet's nest.
Informal: a bind, can of worms, tight
spot. See also predicament.
2. Something
that obstructs progress and requires great effort to overcome. Sample case:
complication, hardship, rigor. See also difficulty.
Informal: a feeling of uncertainty
about the fitness for the correctness of an action – misgiving, reservation,
scruple. See also qualm.
3. An
unfavorable condition, circumstance or characteristic – drawback, handicap,
minus. See also disadvantage.
I AM YOUR PROBLEMS
WHO AM I?
I
am the problem that defines you. I may be that sudden automobile accident, that
diagnosis, that unexpected email rejection. I can be as quick as a slap
across the cheek. Or, I may be one of those slow-moving crises that seem to
eat away at your gut day after day. That step off the edge of the pond you were
two years old and went in over your head and gave you the fear of water for the
rest of your life. That poker game in which you were suddenly in way over your
head. I am the panicky business investment which you have made and you're about
to lose it all. The lie that came back to you. The little mistake that
now has gotten out of control. Remember me? I took your beautiful watercolor life
and slopped indigo paint on it - trailed it across your pretty, youthful bright
colors. I am the splash of darkness in your life – your heart attack, your
cancer, the fall, the abortion, the one too many drinks, the perfect relationship
gone wrong. There go your plans. Your hopes! Your dreams! Shot to hell.
Fucked. And you are left with what? Broken dreams? broken idealism? You’re left
broken.
WHY AM I HERE?
I
bring you choices you would never make for yourself. I come to you and your
higher self offers your weaknesses up to me, just like Father Abraham. You are
the son I must slay. I take you and I break you so you can have a choice.
I give you choice, just like God gave Abraham that choice. I un-fix the fixed.
I cause you to consider tightening up what’s loosey-goosey. What will you do?
Will you blot up the indigo paint on your pretty colors? Pretend I never
happened? Will you give up? Cry over your broken dreams? Get corrective
surgery? How will you hide a broken heart? Get ‘tude? Look for a White Knight?
(You know, that indigo will never TOTALLY blots up! Everyone can tell. Everyone
knows.) The memory will always be there.
Why did
you get these problems? Was it something you did? Or something you ARE? Are you
guilty? Have something to hide? Were you broken to let something OUT? Or to let
something IN? Is being broken the end of something else? Or, is it only the
beginning of even more problems? How do you respond? How will your higher-self respond?
Everyone
starts with “naïve idealism.” But, once you’re broken you have the possibility
to create “achieved idealism” out of the ashes of your dreams that went down in
flames. “Achieved idealism - the second marriage of you and you’re disillusioned
self. It’s discovery, recovery, learning, and the lesson. You and your problems
are not a glossy, untouched pretty couple, not light, not bright. Deeper. A little indigo around the edges - imagine
deep dark indigo mixing with the crimson, yellow, and blue – new hues appearing
stronger deeper powerful than you ever imagined. That's why I’m here. To create
the new, improved, and damaged you! The unique you. Experienced.
WHAT DO I WANT?
I what
to live, and love, in universal imperfection. Couch surf with your karmic
carpool. I am in the limbless arms of another who holds you. I am the ravaged
face. The blind eyes. The drooping stroke smile. The limp. The drooling happy
friend. I bring the impossible together with the improbable. I want you
with me. I want you never to forget me, and I want you to carry me in your
heart... right where Abraham was aiming the knife.
©
Copyright 2014, Jean W. Yeager
All Rights
Reserved
SOLUTIONS TO PROBLEMS WRITTEN ON T-SHIRTS
WHICH MAY BE RECITED IN RESPONSE TO CONFRONTING A PROBLEM
1. “Confer
Thy Querulous Blatherings Upon The Palmar Fascia” (TALK TO THE HAND)
2. “I
Find Myself To Be Exorbitantly Superannuated For this Feculence!” (I’M TOO OLD
FOR THIS SHIT.)[1]
3. “I
am not a failure! I know 10,000 things that don’t work.” Thomas Edison upon
finding the filament for the electric light bulb
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