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Friday, December 5, 2014

YOUR INNER FIREWALL



WHO AM I?

     I am your Inner Firewall. I keep out unwanted things so that you won’t be disturbed, bothered or at risk. And, I want you to do things RIGHT, so there are some things I try to keep you from doing. I help you pre-judge yourself, be S A F E. I give you control, form, order.  I quell your inner disorder.

     Don’t misunderstand, I was put in you by someone else. YOU are not the Firewall, I AM. I was designed and installed by your father, mother, teacher, preacher, an authority, an “expert”, a magazine article quoting lots of statistics about the best way to do this or that, your brother-in-law, whoever you believed. All successfully safe (invisible) people use a Firewall and I have the stats to prove it!


WHAT DO I WANT?

     I am a fear filter. A shield. A censor. An inner wagging finger of caution. “Be care-ful! Oh, honey, don’t do THAT! Put that down!” (Remember?)

     I want you to say silently and inwardly to yourself – “Should I do this?” No, make that - “I should NOT do that!” Or how about, “Do ‘x’ and not ‘y’. You can’t do ‘y’.” or “Don’t say THAT!”

     You don’t need total freedom – you need safety. I want to keep you SAFE which means doing things in the way I say is best way to do them. I am the inner Crossing Guard – see my Reflective Jacket?

I am judgment. I am your fear of doing something WRONG. Your fear of failure, of getting into trouble, of standing out. You are vulnerable. You are not smart enough, pretty enough, don’t smell good enough and those teeth!? My God, they are not straight enough, or white enough! What will other people think about you?

     You are at risk and I have the statistics to prove that that is the case. Your Inner Firewall wants to protect you from all of this.


WHY AM I HERE?

     A firewall works before something could possibly happen. A virus remover works after. (You don’t want to do that.) If you take down your Inner Firewall, you will be free, but vulnerable. (You don’t want to do that.) You will take on microbes and viruses. You will get sick and then get well and build up resistances. Or, you might die! Okay, so you’ll learn how to stay healthy - what to do for First Aid and what not to do.

     But, being free means suffering the consequences of freedom. You don’t want consequences, do you!?  Oh sure, being firewalled means living with the consequences of being firewalled, like you can’t be in community if you firewall yourself off from everyone.

Being a human in a box is NOT so bad, is it? It keeps you from the difficulty of risking to be creative, courageous, the trials of loving AND forgiving. (You will be doing lots of forgiving if you drop your Inner Firewall.)


(C) Copyright 2014, Jean W. Yeager
All Rights Reserved.

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