Twelve Nights

Brainz for January 30, 2017

Brainz is an on-line, e-mail writing group. Each month the Brainz moderator sends us a word and we each write a short piece on the theme and email it back to him.  He then compiles all the responses and re-sends it to us. Wanna join?  There's a private FaceBook group - "The Brainz Group". Contact them. Tell 'em Jean Yeager sent you and you will receive a whole bunch of absolutely nothing, wrapped like Valentine Candy!

An esoteric practice many people undertake is to pay careful attention to their dreams each night between Christmas Day (Dec 25) and Epiphany (Jan 6) – the Twelve Nights of Christmas. They say that if you journal these twelve nightly dreams, you may find each one offers a new and different “picture” or a prediction of a specific month about to occur in the new year. Night one, January; night two, February, and so forth.

Our “day consciousness” (or “Day Self”) is not based on dreams, is doubtful of dreams because it cannot dream and be awake. And, our Day Self is awake.  During the day our Day Self makes predictions in the bright light of wisdom based upon cause and effect, what has already happened, precise logic A+B=C, sequence, the things we can see with our senses.  Our Day Self is busy and plans events in our To Do lists, dresses in style, does the laundry, logs our years on our resumes and LinkedIn, records our genealogies, tests our DNA, worries about retirement plans and the amount of money in our IRAs. Craft beer, anyone?

Who is it that brings us those dreams during the twelve nights?  Do we have a “Night Self”? A Self which is not bound by space or time or senses? A “Self” which may exist in the unconscious, illogical world of our dreams? This “Night Self” travels on a boat by Moonlight, paddles the glimmering shimmering, beats the long and oh so deep thunderous rhythm of the full moon which sends the animals into motion, is a flame of incandescent fire which unfolds and licks and interpenetrates other flames intimately.

I predict that tonight when you lay your “Day Self” down to sleep tonight, your “Night Self” will arise and gently stroke your cheek and move away.

© Copyright 2017, Jean W. Yeager

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NIGHT SELF

WHO AM I?

     The Day Self is the ash of the flame which lights the Night – the ash of YOUR flame as you unfold. Your Night Self is the invisible Night Flame which is the inner fire in the soul, the sense of Self which you dimly see fluttering just out of sight on rare occasions, the power you weep to unfurl in the day.

     What is this shallow sense of space allotted to the Day Self formed by anyway? What’s left over for you by somebody else? Not in the Night. No second best for the Night Self. What is the sense of space your TRUE Self would fill? Are you a far bigger being than life during the day allows you to be? Sit here. Stand there. Things are larger by moonlight and shadow, you feel free of the body.

     The Night Self is the one who makes the important decisions for the Day Self. The Night Self is the one who selects the places the Day Self takes you. This is because the Day Self is limited by logic which is limited by your senses and daylight which only reveals things thought,  dead ideas, the known. The Night Self is guided by the living, the unseen future, stars.

WHY AM I HERE?

     You go by feel into the night. Shut down your senses, your petty judgments, your indecision. Go beyond your skin. Go by feel. By smell. Be guided by the taste of the others. Soft. Slick. Intimate. Unexpected. Not body bound, soul able to penetrate another soul.

You’re not alone. You’re never alone. The beds are not empty. The doors are unlocked. There are no keys. You’re not land-locked. Some of us sit around the table, drinking the elixirs and watch the Night Flames unfurl. The boat is rocking at anchor. People are murmuring softly. Who will ferry whom to the Spirit Land?

     We go by non-sense into the Night. Nonsense. Do not over-think the Night. You will be wrong because it’s nonsense.

The feeling of readiness. Anticipation for the unknown. The vitality of the night bubbles into your soul. The fear of the unknown, then unseen, the three Strange Angels need to be welcomed – they bear gifts.

WHAT DO I WANT?

     Sleep is the little death. The little death which readies us for the Big Death. Each of your night’s little death’s is made up of each night’s life:  the intimacies, the penetrating others, the unfolding. Each is a moment, a thread which will be woven together with last night and the night before and the one before.

Your Night Self is the Keeper of the Loom and will take up all your nights and weave them into your garment of destiny, it’s Self.

     Starting at the instant of your death, and for three days following, the Night Self will gather it’s Self it will ignite it’s Self into a bonfire - an unfurling final Night Flame arising into the sky. A star? Your path Home?

© Copyright 2014, Jean W. Yeager

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